Marbella Luxury Weekend Fails To Deliver (in my humble opinion)

Marbella, the jewel in the Spanish tourist crown, has in my humble opinion, out done itself in self praise when it comes to the Marbella Luxury Weekend.


Fashion Marbella Luxury Weekend 2014There were no more visitors to the port (Banus that is) than would normally be there at this time of the year, apart of course the free loading heathens that emerge from their negative equity town houses at the first sniff of a free glass of champers and a chance to get their mugs in the local rags.

Does anyone truly believe that these hoards of Marbella wannabees will ever return to buy one of  Guarnieri’s simply stunning Pagani or McLaren super cars, have their shoes hand made by Todds, oops thats the only luxury brands I can think of that were there, actually on the street showing their wares.

Of course all the high end brands, Bulgari, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana etc were open as usual but really added nothing to the possible spectacle that should have been the Luxury Weekend, instead only inviting select guests who watched the tourists stare through the glass like waifs from a classic Dickensian novel. Remember most of these shops couldn’t even be bothered to to put the tiniest piece of tinsel in their windows for Christmas for God’s sake.

Apart from Guarnieri and their super luxury cars, I didn’t really see anything out of the ordinary at this fair, maybe I have been here too long and have become blase of the whole luxury thing.

The floating pontoon, the only one, or first in the world, so I am told, was an excellent idea, and here, there were some world class brands showing their wares, oh but for the lighting…I have more candle power in my outside toilet, why spoil a high end fashion show with cheap and mismanaged lighting, talk about don’t spoil the ship for a ha’peth ‘o’tar. The poor press boys were so bemused by the poor lighting they all thought their cameras had stopped working.

Now to be fair to the organisers, sponsors were very hard to find in this financial climate and if you pay peanuts you get monkeys… come on Marbella, you have the stage, now put on a show that every body wants to go to.

Fill the port with jugglers and fire eaters and organ grinders and buskers (high end ones of course) invite celebrities (pay them to come) no, not TOWIE, real ones like Cruise, Clooney, Willis, Hanks, you know the idea, yes it costs a fortune, but isn’t our town worth it, and think of the publicity, do you think Cannes would be what it is if it consisted of a shoe maker and a car salesman.

I’ve been to more exiting village fairs in the foggy valleys of Wales than this. As our dear friend Yazz once sang, The Only Way Is Up…

And before any of you have me dragged off to the village stocks, these opinions of mine are shared by a great deal of people who would like to see more tourist involvement, not just the Zagaletta roadshow

Apologies to all those who, as I know, worked so hard to make this event possible, and to be fair, did the best they could under the circumstances, but if Marbella wishes to stand above all the rest, you, in the Town Hall must raise your game and stop ingratiating yourselves with unimportant locals and attract a world audience and show all that come that you mean business, and truly are the best money can buy, oh and while you are at it shut the second line of the Port down, it’s like Sodom and bloody Gomorrah..

Author Johnny Gates

By the time most of you have read this I will be living in a dark room with a wet sack over my head and electrical wires attached to my testicles…long live Marbella


8 Comments on this Post

  1. Fuck me you must be the most bitter and bitchy man alive. I have not once read anything positive from you. If you hate Marbella and it´s lifestyle so much, then please do us all a favor and fuck off.

    • Stewartmac1

      Your ‘classy’ comment pretty much sums up everything that is wrong with Marbella…sounds as though the second line PB is right up your alley, if you’ll forgive the pun!

  2. Hats off to your frankness…I share your opinion as we all want Marbella to regain its glory days…

  3. chris r

    Well Johnny I can only imagine what a real load of BS and self back slapping went on! As you know I have tons of major A listers that would have loved to come down. Oh well maybe next time.

  4. Sheryl Thomson

    Totally agree dear boy! You could not have said it better!

  5. bee lee

    Great reading Johnny…. if only Marbella could be like the good ol day’s …..!! I’d be at all the events …yet most I go to end up like this …and I’d wished I’d have stayed at home with my feet up and a cuppa!

  6. Thanks Johnney, well written and made me laugh out loud! Brilliantly put.


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